Connecting with Students

Connecting with students is a part of building relationships. According to Paula Denton, author of The Power of Our Words: Teacher Language that Helps Children Learn, “In schools, relationships are treated as luxuries. Relationship is a necessity for learning. We can't afford not to do it." It is truly wonderful to something that has seemed so obvious to me anecdotally supported by research and educational experts. Instructional strategies are useful and content expertise hugely important but both are of negligible effect if the students doesn’t like you and doesn't know that you care. Rita Pierson famously said in a TED talk, “kids don't learn from people they don't like.” She convinced her students of a saying: "I am somebody. I was somebody when I came. I'll be a better somebody when I leave. I am powerful, and I am strong. I deserve the education that I get here. I have things to do, people to impress, and places to go." To help students believe in themselves to that degree, a large amount of effort had to be taken on her part to make connections and build relationships. And it was worth it.

According to James Alan Sturtevant, author of You’ve Gotta Connect, students who connect with their teachers are happier, more productive, more creative, learn and retain more, have fewer behavioral issues, have their creativity unleasher, are less likely to drop out, feel better about themselves, get along better with other students, are more likely to be comfortable with themselves as students, and achieve at higher levels. Many of these externally observable results could be attributed to the internal anatomy and physiology of the brain LITERALLY CHANGING as new networks are formed and then lined with myelin to improve the connection speed of the network.

This critical age of adolescence (from 12-24 according to Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., author of Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain) is a time for pruning of neural networks in the brain and myelination of established (and newly established) neural networks in order to increase the speed of those networks. This wonderful time of opportunity to increase of the efficiency of the brain is lost without proper relationship building.

Works Cited

Pierson, R. (2013, May). Every kid needs a champion. (R. Pierson, Performer) Retrieved October 3, 2016, from http://www.ted.com/talks/rita_pierson_every_kid_needs_a_champion?language=en

Sears, N. (2015). Building Relationships with Students. Retrieved October 3, 2016, from NEA: http://www.nea.org/tools/29469.htm

Siegel M.D., D. J. (2013). Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain. New York, NY: Penguin Random House LLC.

Sturtevant, J. A. (2014). You've Gotta Connect: Building Relationships that Lead to Engaged Students, Productive Classrooms, and Higher Achievement. Chicago, IL: World Book, Inc.

Growing a Brain

As an instructor or anatomy & physiology, I am most intrigued by the physiology of the teenage brain and how it affects behavior.  I have witnessed students struggle with depression and seen the devastation it has on their ability to excel academically.  I have seen students unwilling to interact with peers and therefore miss out on beneficial collaborative learning activities.   And I have experienced the frustration of students seemingly rushing through assessments only to demonstrate little  understanding of concepts.  And the list goes on…….  It is frustrating to watch students in any of these situations, but I find that understanding the development of their brain and the behaviors that are related, is a positive way of appreciating the place that each of these student are currently in.  They are in a state of brain development that interferes with the ‘adult’ behavioral norm.  They simply do not have a brain that works like ours, the adults.  Arthur Allen does a nice job of summing up these differences in the article “Risky behavior by teens can be explained in part by how their brains change” https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/risky-behavior-by-teens-can-be-explained-in-part-by-how-their-brains-change/2014/08/29/28405df0-27d2-11e4-8593-da634b334390_story.html Reading it helps to understand how the changing brain can account for the teen behaviors previously mentioned.   

This image shows how the brain develops through early adulthood (the early 20’s).  While it may sometimes be easy dismiss erratic, disruptive or seemingly lazy behaviors as teenage personality flaws, this evidence scientifically suggests that we should not do so.  

https://www.google.com/search?q=teenage+brain+development+and+behavior&biw=1040&bih=626&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjIobXCwr_PAhXi24MKHcegCSIQ_AUIBigB#imgrc=17XUbnP2qEDZbM%3A

Knowing about physical changes and the effect it has on teenage behaviors, helps educators empathize with their students. How we react to these behaviors is important in constructing an environment in which all students can learn. The video, written for adolescents, gives some important ideas that can be shared with students as we struggle to understand adolescence along with them.  It is important to have conversations with students about their developmental level and guide them to navigate through what can be a frustrating or awkward period of life.  

Connecting with the Detached Student

Connecting with the Detached Student

According to Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., “the relationships we have with our parents and other people who care for us when we are very young most directly shape who we become.” But what happens when our primary caregivers did not tend to our need to be seen and soothed from a very young age? Children raised without those needs being met can develop an avoidant model of attachment, which leads to feeling disconnected from others as well as from their own emotions and needs. These students may have never had a healthy relationship with an adult and do not know how to make a connection.

Consider this girl’s experience.

ReMoved

Students who have non-secure attachment models can learn to transform them into secure attachment models when those models present themselves. Teachers who provide a safe environment and let the student know they will provide unconditional support can help to develop a secure attachment. Following the principle, every day is a fresh start, assures students who may have had a bad day that you will still be there for them the next day. Creating ways to connect with those students, who may not be involved in extracurricular activities, or interested in coming in early, or staying late for academic help could also provide a safe harbor in which they can develop a secure attachment.

In this blog, Mr. Provenzano describes three ways to be available for students, without putting a lot of pressure on them.

http://www.edutopia.org/blog/make-meaningful-connections-with-students-nick-provenzano

Works Cited

Daniel J. Siegel, M.D. (2013). Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain. New York: Penguin.

Volatile Student Resources

To me this quote reminds me that every child has the ability to learn but we have to remember that it might not be the way you want them to or the time that you want them to.  There are other times that might be more beneficial or other days that could accommodate the learning better.  Also, giving students choices helps them decide what can work best for that day and that time. I feel as long as they are engaged in something meaningful to class, that is what is important. pinterest.com

Articles  

Angry Kids: Dealing with Explosive Behaviors - One part of this article that I liked was the reminder to stay calm in the face of a meltdown.  When students are struggling to contain their anger it is best for you the teacher to not blow up at the student and further enrage them.  The reminder to stay calm helps me to remember that a calm teacher can diffuse a situation and an angry teacher will exacerbate the situation.  The student needs you to model the calm behavior.  

When it Comes to Volatile Kids, Pick Your Battles  - The one part of this article that stuck out to me is the part entitled “Fair Doesn’t Mean Equal”.  It’s best to remember that changing rules or criteria is to benefit that particular child and it is not favoritism.  We don’t need to have a one size fits all.  Some students are mentally ready for all the challenges of being in the classroom that day, and some are not.  We don’t necessarily know all the background information on that child or what happened at home last night.  I feel like modifying certain things for different students helps to make that connection and they see that you recognize their individual needs.

Videos

Changing Educational Paradigms - What I like about this Tedtalk video is how it talks about education being set up like a factory with bells, grouping students only by age and having segregated subjects.  What would best benefit students are the choice of working in small groups, large groups, or by themselves and being grouped by ability in a certain subject and not being grouped by age alone.  They should also have the choice of what time of day works best for them to learn.  This reflects my quote in that each student is not meant to learn the same way as the others.

Reaching All High School Students: A Multi-tiered System of Support - While this video goes a little more into a structured school day, I like that it meets the individual needs of the students, works to build off of relationships that certain students have with certain teachers and gives students the opportunity to schedule visits with teachers to receive more one on one support around times that work for them.  They really use a team approach to support learning.

Asking in Unloving Ways

 “The kids who need the most love will ask for it in the most unloving ways.”

We notice the students who day after day continue to challenge our teaching and our thinking. While some teachers see this as a hindrance and distraction to the class, I see it as an opportunity to change the way I am teaching and to reach out and make those needed connections. These students are literally crying out for help and as educators, we are responsible to eliminate those cries for help and instead open the doors of communication to better understand what these students need.

-Brittany Hoffmann

Videos:

• Rita Pierson- educator for 40 years, emphasizes the need for student/teacher relationships and connections. She discusses the need for teachers to make those connections, even admitting they are wrong at times. Give students the voice to speak for themselves. https://www.ted.com/talks/rita_pierson_every_kid_needs_a_champion?language=en

• Sherry Turkle- a psychologist that discusses the need to disconnect. When connected by technology, are we really connected? The technology changes what we do as humans and how we do it, and it changes how we communicate, lack of human to human interaction. “Alone Together”- people want to be together, but customize their lives by being connected. We as educators can not let this “disconnection” happen in our classrooms, we need to keep those connections as human as possible and be sure that the students have our undivided attention to ensure that they are feeling the love that they need from us.

https://www.ted.com/talks/sherry_turkle_alone_together?language=en

Classroom Engagement

Engagement is something we all strive for in our classrooms. Involving all students in their learning allows them to develop a stronger understanding of their own learning.

Using Engagement Strategies to Facilitate Children’s Learning and Success (article link)

In a fun and personal talk, Musallam gives 3 rules to spark imagination and learning, and get students excited about how the world works.

Myths of the Teenage Brain

Myths of Teenage Brain

Myth #1: Raging hormones are the reason that teenagers act the way that they do

Reality:

Myth #2: Teenagers are hard to relate to and build connections with

Reality:

Myth #3: Growing up during adolescence is all about moving from dependence on adults to complete independence from them.

Reality:

Link to Article

Myth #4: The most dramatic brain development occurs during the teenage years – once my child is off to college things should settle down

Reality:

Link to Prezi

Myth #5: It is my responsibility as a parent to help my child solve any conflicts that emerge as they navigate the often rocky road that is adolescence

Reality: Allow adolescents the opportunity to solve conflicts on their own before intervening.

Summary: According to Daniel J. Siegel, the greatest myth is that adolescence is an “immature period of life,” one “we need to just get through and survive.” The truth is that it is an important and necessary transformative period that can allow us to thrive – not just in adolescence, but in adulthood as well.

Works Cited

Azbel, O. (2013, February 25). The Teenage Brain.

Daniel J. Siegel, M. (2013). Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain. New York: Penguin.

Education, U. D. (2003, September 11). Independence--Helping Your Child Through Early Adolescence. Retrieved from U.S. Department of Education: http://www2.ed.gov/parents/academic/help/adolescence/part7.html

Gopnik, A. (2012, January 28). What's Wrong with the Teenage Mind? The Wall Street Journal.

Kim, E. (2015, June 12). Mean Girls and Conflict Theory. Retrieved from YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InMeuBdncQg

Pierson, R. (2013, May 3). Every Kid Needs a Champion. Retrieved from Ted : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFnMTHhKdkw

Stuff Mom Never Told You. (2014, August 25). The Science of Teen Drama. Retrieved from YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oV93d7AlvMs

Sturtevant, J. A. (2014). You've Gotta Connect: Building Relationships that Lead to Engaged Students, Productive Classrooms, and Higher Achievement. Chicago: World Book/Incentive Publications.

Adolescence: Myth vs Reality

Many adults hold common myths about adolescents, but for teachers of adolescents, myths can definitely interfere with the learning young people.  Awareness of facts about adolescent development can give greater patients and insights into the thinking process of their developing minds.  Dr. Daniel J. Siegel's book, Brainstorm - The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain, is a great source for identifying and correcting common misunderstandings.

Below are listed common myths vs facts about adolescents.

• (Myth) Adolescence brain age is from 12 to 18 vs (fact) from 12 to 24!
• Raging hormones cause adolescents to go mad vs brain development causes their behavior.
• Adolescence is a time of immaturity vs a time for their brains to thrive.
• It's a time of independence from adults vs it's best as a move towards social interdependency.
• It's a time of confusion vs. a time of emotional intensity, social engagement, & creativity!
• Creative exploration is reduced during adolescence vs creative thinking is one of the four qualities of the adolescent brain.
• Brain growth stops at the end of adolescence vs the brain develops during one's whole lifespan.

Dr. Dan Siegel - BRAINSTORM: Hyper-rational vs. impulsive behaviors

Daniel Siegel Discusses The Teenage Brain

Get Rid of Your BUTs

Remove BUT from your vocabulary!

If you catch yourself saying "I like that BUT…." STOP and replace “but” with “I wonder how…” or "I like that AND..."

How many times when approached with a new concept or idea that you intentionally or unintentionally shut it down by using "but" in your sentence?

• That would be great but, I don't have time.
• That would be great but, I don't have the resources.
• That would be great but, the students aren't engaged.

In the words of Jim Knight, "Words have the power to bring people together or push them apart. To find common ground, we should use words that unite and avoid words that divide. The most fundamental word choice is to say WE instead of I, YES instead of no, AND instead of but.” excerpt taken from Better Conversations Coaching Ourselves and Each Other to be more Credible, Caring, and Connected

Take some time to reflect on how often that one little word squashes potential innovation. 

Read Shana Lebowitz's article A Stanford professor says eliminating 2 phrases from your vocabulary can make you more successful

Help your students develop positive attitudes and open minds, help them eliminate their buts too!

Stick out Your Neck for a Kid, and You’ll Build a Connection

Because I am continuously writing IEP goals involving advocacy, this chapter peaked my interest.The quote by the author, James Alan Sturtevant,“Stick out your neck for a kid, and you’ll build a connection,”struck a chord and memory with me. My first year teaching at Plymouth High School the administration had the drug dogs come into the building. The previous district I taught at had never had the drug dogs visit, so this was a new experience for me. All students were to be inside classrooms and doors were to be closed. One of the students I was responsible for during this mod period, who also was on my caseload, was trying to get rid of marijuana and was caught in the hall. The dog smelled the marijuana and my student was sent to the vice principal's office with a police officer. He lived with his grandmother who could not drive and had no one to be with him while the police spoke with him. I sat with him in the vice principal’s office and supported him as best I could without judging, just listening and only giving advice when he asked. From that day on we had a different relationship. We were able to tease each other and he knew I was there for him. He went on to graduate from high school with his peers and had a job in his vocational interest area after graduation. This is just one memory that came to mind when reading Sturtevant's quote, yet it is something I feel still rings true in education today.

Making connections is not always easy.  Joshua Block, in the article, “Making School About Connection” in Edutopia describes making a connection in our classrooms as being the host at a party.Teachers should be aware of all the students in their classroom like a host is aware of the guests at their party.  Which students are responding to students around them? Which guests are mingling? Which students are not focused on the task? Which guests are bored and ready to leave? Thoughts are evolving about how all students can be involved, feel connected, be willing to take chances, like the life of the party student?

Another great recommendation for connecting with students in the t21st century is through social media. For example, creating a Twitter page to use with just students can help them make a connection with their teacher outside the classroom. The following article, 50 Ways to Use Twitter in the Classroom gives numerous examples for teachers to incorporate Twitter in their classroom. Twitter especially can assist the teacher is making a connection with the quiet student. Through Twitter, students can respond and ask questions that they may not feel comfortable verbalizing in person.

No matter what it is called, advocating for students, making relationships or making connections, it is one of the most important aspects of teaching. The way in which connections are made especially with the ever evolving technology may have changed, but the importance has not. Many times as teachers we get so busy creating lessons, attending meetings, completing reports or grading assessments that we forget that building a connection with students is most important, and all the other teaching responsibilities are secondary.

Myths and Realities about the Teenage Brain

How much do you know about the teenage brain?  Is your knowledge based on myth or reality? Explore the resources below!

Quick Quiz: How Well Do You Know the Teen Brain?

3 myths about the teen brain

Did you learn anything new?